Living. Learning. Loving.

“The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the Body… Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6: 13b,19-20

There are many areas in my relationship with Christ were I fault, actually all of them. But the one area that I consciously struggle the most with is acknowledging that My body is a temple of Christ. It may because I subconsciously am not at the point in my walk with Christ were I fully understand it, or it may be the fact that Satan knows that the desire to be of the Flesh is the place I almost always falter. Not only do I know that God knows that I can use My body as His Temple but I know that I can.

When I was in my earlier teen years, I promised myself that I would not allow sexual immorality in my life, and that I would stay pure… There’s a reason why we shouldn’t make promises to ourselves like that, because in my opinion it is impossible as a sinner to every completely fulfil a promise like that. I undeniably have not kept that promise, and I really wish I could turn back time and reverse my actions/thoughts/words. But I must allow myself to realize that my past decisions are not of Christ, but the past is the past and all anyone of us can do is ask for forgiveness from Christ and ourselves and those it may have effected. This is not a split second fix, often it’s a life long battle With Christ.

But, with all that being said… “For Christ so loved the World that He gave his only begotten son, and whoever believes in him shall have.eternal life…” is John 3:16 But what’s verse 17 say!? “For God did not send his Son into the World to condemn the World, but to save the World through him.” That verse is so important, not only in how we perceive Christ but how we perceive other around us. We all have short comings, but through Christ we are forgiven!

New Beginnings, continuing rollercoasters, abrupt endings are what me life currently consists of… To have all those dimensions of life packed into each and everysingle day, it can become frustrating and confusing to say the least. To try and balance it all, is difficult and it doesn’t become much easier! That’s why we must rely on God in all we do! I know that it’s easier said then done, but it’s the truth and we all must remember that!

God is good. God is our provider. God is our strength. God is our endurance. God is our patience. God is our everything.

And literally thank God He is!

Why are we who we are? Why do we do what we do? Why do we look the way we look? Why do we care what we look like? Why do we care how the World perceives us? Why do we lie? Why do we care more about our time on Earth than eternity? Why do we struggle immensely with sex? Why are we alone? Why are we so selfish? Why are we so caught up in this lifeless World? Why do we spend hours fretting and attempt to fix our bodies, hair, weight, skin tone, face? Why do we care what the Media says? Why are we so consumed with ourselves? Why do we spend hours and hours devoting ourselves to Television, Internet, IMing? Why do we gossip? Why do we not care?

There are thousands of other why questions that can be stated. But there is one ‘What’ question that has been on my mind a lot lately.

What about God?

When your world is shaking, where do you stand? Do you stand in the grasps of Gods love? Or do you stand alone and in defeat? Do you make straight the path the crooked lie? Or do you allow our God to do that? Do you try to run from Gods hands or do you just forget that God has us in his hands? How do we walk this weary land? When you look in the mirror, what do you see; A child of God, or a lost self?

Why is it that, even though we know we are about to something detrimental to our relationship that we still go ahead and do it? Why is it that, when we knowingly our allowing our relationship to diminish that we just ignore it? Is it because we are innately selfish or are we complete cowards?

God has shown so many ways His immense love for you, for me, for your mother, your father, your neighbour yet we still do not grasp it? Not only do we not grasp it, but we also abuse it and throw it away. How are we any different then Judas or Peter? Or the Jews and Gentiles that laid palm branches for him one day and then they pierced his body and hung him on a cross after beating him almost to death? Jesus knew this was going to happen, He stood in the Garden coming to terms with what was about to happen but He Still Gave His Life For Us. What do we do in return, we spit on His name. I am not taking one ounce of blame off myself.

Have you ever looked at the Night Sky and just been in complete admiration of it’s awestruck wonder? Or have you ever been observing the big blue Sky and realized how phenomenal it truly is? Staring at those sunrays coming through those big white fluffy clouds? Have you ever just watched a shooting star and just been amazed at it’s beauty? Have you ever been watching a huge storm roll in over the water or just in the Sky in general? Too me, this are just minuscule examples that there is in fact a divine intelligence. The divine intelligence in my life and understanding is God.

I don’t know if others are completely dumbfounded by this absolutely amazing Plant we live on, but I know for a fact that I am. I also know that too me it proves there is so much more once our time here on Earth is over… Just has me thinking!

Realization can be hard too understand and admit sometimes. A lot of my life I have realized that I put Earthly things before God, before our relationship, before time spent with him. Even though I realize this, many times it isn’t until I sit back think about what I have actually been doing with my time. For example, I recently told myself and God that I would read my Bible and have devotions for the next 50 days at least… I am a week into it and I’ve only actually stayed true too my word 2 of the previous days. Does that make me a failure? No, it makes me a sinner. I also have begun a new relationship, with a man. He is not a Christian, admittedly. This area is hard for me because in my heart when I get married, I need the man to be the spiritual head, as it said to be. So with this man, whom I love, it worries me that I am giving of myself to someone I know I might not have a future with. Which leads me to think I a leading myself into heartache. He knows that I am a strong Christian and he doesn’t disrespect me for that. This is an area-huge area-of my life he currently does not understand. For now, I am okay with this because I am still finding out who I am in Christ… It just scares me that this man, who I honestly love, will not come to understand this huge importance to me. It also worries me that, I am putting more effort into my relationship with him then I am God. What is the point of this? How will it turn out? One of us left broken hearted and confused? Should I stay or should I go? Is it worth to continue when there highly likely not a future? Is love enough?